little surprises

thanks, dear. i always love the little surprises you give. "morning, love you!" "love you, too", i replied with a smile.

hope it keeps on going. i feel better now. i know you mean it. got to pen down this moment. woke up at 4.30 in the morning, wish to do a little surfing before going back to bed, and there my notebook went missing. ehmmm...hubby took it? he must have mistaken it for his, but he's too smart to make such mistake. A surprise, silly girl! a little note typed into a text box and read "MORNING. LOVE YOU!". took it a while to pop up. is worth waiting. but i just spoil the surprise. suppose to see it at work. but is ok, I was surprised and shy to even look at his face, i just reply the same with a smile and walk away. :)

is snowing in London, early white christmas, maybe. still remember the 1st time, how it looks like when i wake up on a winter morning, and saw the white. everything is white, covered by snow, the roof, the car, the street....is beautiful. too bad, there weren't much pictures taken back then, a few but all blur case...invention of digital camera was not quick enough for me to capture this moment. will I have a chance to capture this moment with you, and with our baby? :) it will be real sweet. 'A sweet little family'.

so sexy today

dress to kill. dress just to get your attention or dress just in case to be compared if we meet, hoping I'm not too far from her beauty.

thank you for the compliment. it does mean alot. I've got your attention at least. but i don't feel comfortable in this outfit. is just not me.

how to love someone, who doesn't love me? teach me how.

trust, how to trust again? you have done nothing to gain my trust. please do something for me. stop seeing her, tell her off, say that you love me. please!

sad

is time to write again. wrote quite a bit in a mail, sent, but no reply. have checked the inbox every hour, then every day but still no reply. wondering whether he gets what I mean, and how come he has nothing to say back to me?

it is so obvious that my feelings are not cared for. what am I doing here again? the question asked twice but not answered. Should I treat it as a 'Yes'. Please not. I can't take it. I thought I'm strong especially with my little baby here with me, he can make me strong but I'm just too weak to fight this battle.

what really matters to him? the trill, the excitement...there's so much to blame on "why is my life so complicated' he said. it can be real smooth and calm but you choose the other way. what should i do. waiting to be loved?

when you dislike someone, everything she does, is real annoying. everything she says is not right. when you found something new, it is always interesting and you want more.

i don't wish to show a sad face, but is not easy to put up a smile either. after all that has happened. which side are you on? which side your heart tells you to go with? we don't mean much to you? you have never wanted us. why are we still here?

you find it exciting, real challenging, but for me, its not fun at all. it hurts and i'm in so much pain.